Someone once said that infants have three basic stages of activity during the time they are awake and alert: about to cry; crying; and just finished crying. For families with new babies -- especially those with the excessive unexplained, but otherwise normal crying known as colic -- this description may seem only slightly exaggerated.

It's long been understood that crying is an infant's primary means of communication and getting across some need. In the first weeks, the need is usually related to hunger. If you think that crying is a result of a wet or dirty diaper during those early days, you're probably projecting your own values of cleanliness and comfort. As time goes on, the need for a dry diaper could well be the reason behind the crying, along with undressing your baby, changing a diaper, creating a loud noise or making a fast movement. Babies also cry from bright lights, from boredom, when they're tired and when they want to. Everybody needs to express himself and babies have a limited range of options.

So how do you respond to all this infant vocalization? After a short time, you'll start identifying the type of cry. You get to know the difference between the piercing wail of hunger or true distress and the whimper of boredom or fussing. How you handle it, however, has been the basis of family feuds and lost friendships.

While each family has its own system, research indicates, and most infant care experts agree, that you should pick the baby up fairly quickly. At this age, you just can't spoil a baby by fast response. That's not to say you race to the baby the second you think you hear a whimper. In fact, you should give your baby a chance to soothe herself and calm down.

And there may be those times when you just have to close the door for a few minutes and crank up the stereo. But for the most part, babies who are picked up more promptly and held more frequently cry and fuss less over the course of the day. And contrary to spoiling your baby, this kind of response is generally credited with building long-term trust and confidence.

No matter what it is that causes your baby to cry, the important thing to remember is: Don't take it personally. It can leave you wondering what you're doing wrong. But a crying baby --- at least one who is fed, warm, dry and still crying --- is not a reflection on your abilities as a good parent. You just have to hang in there, because a mom or dad who's frustrated isn't going to do much good for a frustrated baby.

You can lower your frustration level by taking turns dealing with the crying. You can also learn what types of things your baby finds most comforting. And most comforting to you is realizing that crying usually peaks around the sixth week and is noticeably better by the third month.

Nine famous techniques for comforting a crying baby

1. Sit in a rocking chair, glider or swing and sing a lullaby or play soft music. It's an oldie, but it still works.
   
   
2. Put the baby in a battery-operating swing, a device that can be a sanity-saver for the parents of a colicky baby.
   
   
3. Wrap the baby snugly in a light blanket, an old technique called swaddling.
   
   
4. Lay the baby across your lap and give her a back rub. The massage is relaxing and will help get rid of gas.
   
   
5. Take him for a ride in the car (properly secured in his car seat, of course).
   
   
6. If the weather is nice, take the baby for a ride in the stroller. If you can't get outside, do your strolling in the living room or hall.
   
   
7. Let the baby suck on a pacifier (that's where they got their name) or give her some help in getting her fist or fingers in her mouth.
   
   
8. Put him in a strap-on infant carrier or in your arms and walk --- inside or out.
   
   
9. Try putting the baby in a bassinet or a basket and placing her on top of the clothes dryer while you're doing a load. The combination of warmth, sound and vibration can be relaxing. Do not leave the baby unattended.

Back to Newborn Care and Feeding

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