God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Prayer for Serenity

While change creates variety and interest in people's lives, it is also threatening and stressful. The mind and body have a difficult time adjusting to the emotional highs and lows that often accompany change.

The more change someone experiences in a brief period of time, the greater the risk of physical or mental illness. Too many changes in too short a time can place someone at risk for all types of physical and mental disorders --- from something as simple as a cold or the flu to major problems such as heart disease, chemical dependency, cancer or anxiety disorders. Quite simply, change compromises the human immune system.

Several years ago, psychologists Holmes and Rahe developed a stress scale to measure how much risk of illness a person runs based on recent life changes. The scores assigned to individual events or changes were added together to determine a "risk of becoming ill" score. High on the list were negative life changes such as the death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, death of a close family member and personal injury.

But also receiving high scores were positive life changes such as marriage, marital reconciliation, retirement and pregnancy. It seems that changes don't necessarily have to be bad to have an impact on people's lives.

The stages of adjusting to change
Knowing that people tend to respond to major changes in a predictable pattern may help put natural reactions to change into perspective. Sabina Spencer and John Adams, authors of Life Changes: Growing Through Personal Transitions, describe seven stages of adjusting to change:

Stage I: losing focus
This stage is marked by feelings of numbness or unreality.

Stage II: minimizing the impact
This is a period of denial, when people pretend that life is "business as usual."

Stage III: the pit
When minimizing and denial don't work anymore, reality finally hits home. Depression and a sense of powerlessness set in.

Stage IV: letting go of the past
This is a time of forgiveness and letting go, a time of preparing to move on with life.

Stage V: testing the limits
During the fifth stage, energy and enthusiasm return. This is a time to experiment and try new ventures.

Stage VI: searching for meaning
At this stage of adjustment, people try to figure out what life is about and who they really are.

Stage VII: integrating
This is the time to stand back and find out what the changes and transitions have meant on a grander scale.

The stages have no particular time limits or degrees of intensity. Some people can sail through the entire seven stages in hours or days, while others take weeks or months.

Taking charge of change
Fortunately, there are things you can do to increase your personal ability to cope with change and remain healthy. The following are tried and true ways to help you take charge of change:

• To build up your resistance, practice positive health habits such as getting adequate rest, exercising and eating nutritiously.
• Train yourself for change by learning to be flexible. Try different viewpoints, change your routine periodically. Drive home by a different route.
• Anticipate change by learning everything you can about potential or upcoming changes in your life. Plan for change whenever possible.
• Build safety zones or safe places for yourself. Set limits and boundaries and let others know they are expected to respect your needs.
• Have an emotional support system available. Choose family members and friends who are non-judgmental and able to listen to you without criticizing or demanding.
• Develop your spiritual side. Pray, meditate, use positive affirmations, read or study to develop a sense of purpose or meaning in your life, based on your own values and beliefs.
• Use a wide-angle lens to get a broader perspective on the changes you are experiencing. A good strategy to try: Imagine yourself 25 years from now and contemplate just how important this change will be to you then.
• Bend, adapt and flow with necessary changes. Don't waste valuable energy by fighting the inevitable.
• Explore how you feel about the change in your life and what it really means to you. Reflect on your own reactions to it. Self-awareness can be a powerful ally.
• Ask advice of others who have gone through the same experience in the past. Learn and use their coping strategies.
• Let yourself grieve your losses. Grief is a prerequisite to healing.
• Pace yourself. For most people, adjusting to change takes time. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover and rest.

Change is a natural part of life. You can adapt, cope and even retain a significant amount of control over your life even in the most turbulent times.

If you are having trouble adjusting to a major change in your life, call the Center for Behavioral Health® at Baptist Hospital East at (502) 896-7105 or toll-free 1-800-478-1105. Individual and group counseling services are offered in St. Matthews and La Grange.

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